Woman Asking Boyfriend for Financial Help Despite Her $10K Savings Cheered

A woman has been cheered for asking her boyfriend to pay her share of rent, despite having significant savings.

Taking to Reddit, the 34-year-old shared how he and his girlfriend have been living together for three years—but recently things had become difficult when she asked if he could cover her share of their rent.

The post, which has since been deleted, along with the account that posted it, was shared on the popular r/AmITheA****** forum.

He wrote: "She's a fantastic partner and I adore her. She's done a lot for me financially, because she helped support me through a career transition, and then my new career was impacted by COVID and union strikes at the worst time and she helped me a lot."

The man explained that last year his girlfriend had covered his half of the rent for around six months.

"She always made it sound like it was a gift," he said. "She even explicitly told me she would cover my rent for three months so I could have some breathing room to pay down my credit cards."

Despite now being out of debt, he explained that his girlfriend still had more savings than him. "I know she has 10k in her bank account at all times—because she has told me this and shown me before," he said. "I only have 2.5k in my bank account at this moment."

But his girlfriend found herself in trouble when her workplace starting laying people off, only giving them $250 for six weeks as severance pay.

"It's a nightmare and she's freaking out," wrote the man. "She asked me if I could maybe cover her half of rent come May 1st while she spends this month trying to find a new job because she doesn't want to touch her savings."

The boyfriend agreed, but admitted he was uncomfortable. "She asked why [I was uncomfortable and] I answered reluctantly and I told her because I don't even have savings. I can tell she feels guilty now even though I said yes," he said.

Taking to the internet for advice, the man asked if he was wrong to be reluctant to cover his girlfriend's share of the rent, and Redditors overwhelmingly slammed him.

"YTA [you're the a******] given your explanation and the hit she has taken financially to support you, it seems odd that you would react that way," said one commenter. While another wrote: "She may have savings—but she supported you when you needed it, it's only fair you do the same."

Linzi Kavanagh is an empowerment coach for women experiencing separation and divorce. She told Newsweek: "Many surveys have found money to be one of the most common causes of arguments within relationships. I believe that if a couple are living together it shows they are both committed to the relationship itself and able to trust one another. When couples make a commitment to live together there needs to be a fair amount of teamwork involved, both financially and when it comes to household chores."

While Kavanagh agreed that a degree of financial independence is always important, the teamwork that comes with financial support is also important to a relationship. "As long as there are clear boundaries put in place and an understanding from both parties of financial priorities and limits then yes, if a partner has the resources available, they should step up to support the other during any unforeseen circumstances," she said.

"She helped you big time. You've also been together long enough that marriage should be on the horizon, and yet, you don't want to return the favor. You are where you are financially because of her," said another Redditor. "She wants to know you have her back and you failed to show her that."

Another commenter agreed: "She covered you for six months—damaging her ability to save more, and helping you—and you are reluctant to cover her for one singular month—which she would probably be in a better financial situation in the first place had she not been supporting your ungrateful a** for half a year."

Kavanagh explained that in this situation, the man should be more willing to help his girlfriend. "Your partner has only asked for financial support for a very short period of time and in the past has been more than willing to support you in a very unresentful fashion," she said. "Whilst your own savings are not as substantial as hers, I believe it's more about stepping up and showing her you are there for her and willing to support her as much as you can in this period of uncertainty and stress.

"This will strengthen your relationship during this period of stress and elevate her own feelings of self-worth and confidence, which in turn will make it more likely she will secure another job quickly."

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