Woman Backed for Ending Friendship With School Mom for 'Unpleasant' Comment

Commenters online have mostly backed a woman who is planning to end her friendship with another school mom over some "distasteful" comments she made about lesbian couples that made the poster feel uncomfortable as a bisexual woman.

In a post shared Wednesday on U.K.-based forum Mumsnet, the mother, whose username is EmptyHouse0822, said that for the past two and half years she's been friends with one of the other moms from her daughter's school. They have been close enough that they can "trust" each other with their problems.

However, her friend recently made some very negative comments about lesbian couples, "completely out of the blue," the poster said. She found the remarks unpleasant, especially because she is a bisexual woman.

About 65 percent of LGBTQ youths in the United States reported that they have experienced discrimination based on their sexual orientation, according to the 2022 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health. Moreover, 31 percent of LGBTQ youths reported that they have been physically threatened or harmed because of their sexual orientation. Of those surveyed, 40 percent were gay men, 30 percent were lesbian, and 26 percent were bisexual.

women arguing
A stock image shows two women arguing. Commenters on the U.K.-based forum Mumsnet have mostly backed a woman who is planning to end a friendship because of the friend's homophobic remarks. But others said the... Getty Images

According to the poster, her friend spoke about a program she'd been watching with her husband. She made him turn off the gay male scenes because it was "disgusting and not something she wanted to see."

"She then said it was almost as bad as seeing two women together, and she said god knows why any woman would want to touch up and do "who knows what" to another woman, and then she said "it's just so grim!" - and that's when she started laughing," the poster wrote.

In the 247 comments in the thread, most users agreed with the original poster that homophobia is a valid reason to end a relationship, while some said the friend is entitled to her opinions.

One user, Whatiswrongwithmyknee, said: "Might it be helpful to talk to her about this? It's always dodgy to read into things and assume you're understanding what she meant. If she is a bigot then that is a perfectly reasonable reason to end a friendship."

Donotgogentle said: "[YouAreNotBeingUnreasonable] - wouldn't want to be friends with someone with those views. Bisexual or not. Did you challenge her at the time?"

Another user, MarillaCuthbertIsSurprised, wrote: "I find the idea of being with a woman in that way quite unpleasant. It doesn't mean that I think any less in any way of those who feel differently about it. It just doesn't float my boat."

Meanwhile, alwaysmovingforwards wrote: "She's entitled to have her views. You're entitled to do what you chose with this info."

And Booboobeth said: "She's got the right to feel the way she feels about lesbians. She also got the right to dislike them and say whatever she wants. The same way you've got the right to challenge her. So don't be [a] coward next time and tell her about your feelings straight away."

Chikapu said: "This sounds like she made comments about lesbians as a whole, not as a 'that's not my cup of tea' kind of thing. It's disturbing how some people are trying to justify homophobia."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

If you have a similar dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured in Newsweek.

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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Maria Azzurra Volpe is a Newsweek Lifestyle Reporter based in London. Her focus is reporting on lifestyle and trends-related stories, ... Read more

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