Woman Backed For Refusing To Host 'Entitled' Sister-In-Law's Bridal Shower

Sometimes the buildup to a wedding can be more eventful than the actual big day itself. Each year, plenty of couples that are months away from saying "I do" host a number of smaller parties to celebrate their nuptials before the date actually rolls around.

Bridal showers are one of the most popular events that precede a wedding, and a woman's surprising refusal to host one for her brother's fiancée has made waves online. She had taken to Reddit to share her reasons for doing so, and was met with an astonishing show of support by readers.

"My brother Jay is marrying his fiancée Debbie in July," the woman wrote on Reddit.

"Debbie asked both me and my sister Christina to be bridesmaids, but we both turned it down. A couple of weeks ago, Debbie contacted me and Christina and demanded that we throw her a bridal shower, though this was more directed at me as Christina is currently in university.

"Her reasoning was that it was the least we could do after we said no to being bridesmaids and didn't have any costs and hadn't contributed to the wedding yet," she added.

The woman went on to say that she told Christina that she would handle the discussion, since her sister is described as not being a fan of confrontation.

"I sent Debbie back a polite text saying we will not be planning, hosting, or attending any such shower. Debbie got very angry and implied that she would try to uninvite us from the wedding," the woman, who goes by u/lastweddingplease on Reddit, recounted.

"Jay asked both me and Christina to reconsider, and even said he would pay for it if we'd just pretend we did, but I said absolutely not, and Christina can't really plan it all on her own. Jay is now getting pressure from Debbie to react to this in some way.

"This has caused a fair bit of drama. Jay's mother, who is not my mother, has used this as an excuse to lay into him about Debbie, whom she dislikes. Jay's dad and best man are giving him s*** for letting her treat us this way. Jay has accused me of pretty much ruining the wedding planning experience and thinks that he won't end up with a lot of family there if this goes on," she added.

Talk Out the Issues

Audrey Hope is a trauma and addiction counselor, who has worked on tense relationship dynamics. Hope offered Newsweek her take on why conflict, especially between a soon-to-be married couple like Jay and Debbie, should not precede a wedding day.

"You never want to start a new life with a conflict that will cause resentment and anger way after the wedding ends. Everything must be talked out, and communicated with truthful feelings, raw honesty or the energy of the resentment will seep into marriage," Hope told Newsweek.

"As a counselor for over 20 years, I have had couples talk about problems that started at the wedding. It is like we all have memories like an elephant and nothing can get stored in the closet forever.

"Weddings are not about the family and about pleasing them. It is about the couple getting married and their wants and needs," she said.

Since she opened up online, the woman's post has been upvoted more than 3,400 times. Of the 863 Redditors who have left comments to date, the majority have criticized the bride-to-be over her stance, backing Jay's sister instead.

"Why have brides become so entitled?" one Redditor, u/katamino, asked.

Another user, u/reviewok929, added: "Seems totally weird that having refused to be bridesmaids she would ask you that, especially since that's the MOH's [maid of honor] or another close friend's job normally. My book she is looking to cause drama by doing this knowing you'd refuse and looking for an excuse to uninvite you from the wedding...strange power play by her."

The woman added in the comments section of the post that the bride-to-be's friends have "probably tapped out" of potentially throwing the bridal shower, as they had already spent a fortune on dresses and gifts in the lead up to the big day.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.