Woman Explaining Why She Doesn't Want Mother-in-Law in Her Bedroom Dragged

The internet has dragged a woman who complained that her mother-in-law should be more respectful of her bedroom after she once found her asleep on her bed.

In a post shared on Mumsnet earlier in April, under the username OMalleytheAlleyyCat, she explained that while she's on maternity leave and her husband works from home, her mother-in-law visits them about once a week to help them out with childcare.

Since the birth, she's been sleeping in the nursery to be closer to the baby, while her husband sleeps alone in their master bedroom.

For American couples, sleeping separately from their partner is not that uncommon. According to the National Sleep Foundation, around 25 percent of couples in America choose to sleep in separate beds from their partner.

The poster complained that while looking after her son, her mother-in-law often accesses the baby's nursery, even when it is not strictly necessary. The poster feels she is "entitled to keep [her] room private.]"

She wrote: "[My mother-in-law] feels she can go into it as she pleases. Her argument is she needs to be able to put [my son] down for his naps but the time she regularly comes doesn't overlap with his nap times, I always put him down before and after her visits.

"She may need to go in there occasionally to get a muslin etc but I feel she needs to be more respectful and only go in when necessary. [My husband] has had to explicitly tell her not to lie in my bed. She's constantly taking things out of the nursery and scattering them around the house."

In the comments section, the poster explained that the baby's room is actually her room with a cot in it rather than his room with a bed in it, and she feels like she's a teenager who needs to tell her mom to get out of her room.

Marni Goldman, a certified life coach and the author of True to Myself, told Newsweek: "Talk about a nightmare-in-law?!?! This woman, I am sure, from the very beginning, has never shown you an ounce of respect. Why would she start now? The word boundaries must be nonexistent in her vocabulary. Laying in somebody's bed? Their sacred private space? That's unheard of!

"She's marking her territory, which is taking her narcissistic, overbearing, toxicity to a different level. Her entitled, selfish behavior has probably always been there, and, most likely, swept under the rug, to avoid conflict, and keep peace. It's now time to demand respect and take your power back. This is your home! When somebody becomes a complete liability, and not an asset, it's time to reassess."

According to Goldman, the poster can alleviate this scenario by no longer having her come over once a week, or, "as ludicrous as this sounds," considering putting a lock on her door if she still needs her presence.

She added: "A simpler approach might be, when she comes in, ask her right away, 'What do you need from the nursery?' Let her know, once again, your room is off limits (you can't make it any clearer than that) That's her last chance. It's very important you and your husband are both on the same page and on the same team. You will never have these moments with your baby again. Enjoy every second. Unless it brings you joy and happiness, it has no place in your world!"

Most of the 1,170 users who voted on the [Am I Being Unreasonable] poll, thought the poster was being unreasonable, with 67 percent of votes, and that she should just be grateful for receiving free childcare once a week.

One user, thegrain, commented: "She probably sees it as a bed for whoever is in the nursery at the time rather than your shared bedroom." And neverknowinglyunreasonable wrote: "She might think you're unreasonable for sleeping in a nursery. I wouldn't love it but would probably suck it up for free childcare." ThatsGenderwang added: "It doesn't sound much like 'free childcare' though. More like a few hours so OP [original poster] can do a few errands or admin."

AppleKatie, said: "This is all kinds of odd. I simply wouldn't leave her alone in the house to do this sort of nonsense she clearly needs supervising!"

IamnotSethRogan wrote: "It's not your bedroom it's the baby's room that you sleep in. If you're not happy with the free childcare she's providing, then look elsewhere. Honestly, you're complaining she got the baby's toys from the baby's bedroom for the baby to play with."

Bivarb added: "I'm with you OP. I think it's weird because it's still your bedroom, even though your baby sleeps there too. When we visit my [Mother-In-Law] we put [our] toddler in [Mother-In-Law's] bedroom for a nap, away from the busyness of the living room. I only go in and out to sort the toddler as quickly as I can. I have no desire at all to loiter or stick around in there. It feels uncomfortable because it's too personal."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

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