Woman Living With Brother Slammed for Demanding Her Daughter Has a Bedroom

For many of us, family is the most important thing in the world, and whenever a family member is in need, it's normal to rush to help. But helping your sister, brother, or cousin, doesn't mean putting your own needs at the back of the list.

The internet has backed a dad who refused to force his teenage daughter to share her bedroom with her cousin, although the man's sister, who he's helping out, keeps pressing the issue.

In a post shared on Mumsnet on Tuesday, the man, who posted under the username Tamarvin, explained that his sister and her family recently found themselves temporarily homeless while they were waiting for public housing, and without hesitation, he opened the doors to his house to them.

According to World Population Review, there are currently over half a million people experiencing homelessness in the United States, with those people forced to live in temporary shelters or transitional housing or sleep in a place not meant for habitation, such as abandoned buildings.

The man, who is a widower, said he has a four-bedroom house, two of which are occupied by his two children and one by himself. This leaves a spare room, which is currently occupied by his sister and her husband. But the sister has three children to accommodate, and that's what's causing issues.

The current arrangements see the poster's son sharing a room with his cousin who is the same age, the sister's little boy sleeping with his parents, and the teenage cousin set up in the living room for lack of space.

"My niece is unhappy with this arrangement because she feels like she gets no privacy (downstairs is open plan)," the poster said. "To solve this my sister wants me to force my daughter to share her bedroom with my niece. My daughter however is not as close with my niece as the boys are with each other. My daughter and niece have very different personalities.

"My niece can be loud and intimidating and my daughter on the other hand is very soft-spoken. Having so many other people in the house has already been making her feel stressed and overwhelmed. All three boys being younger and [more] energetic can make things feel chaotic. I don't want to force her to give up her only private area to retreat to for peace and quiet."

But this is not the only issue the poster is facing while hosting his sister. According to his post, he likes to order takeout once a week for his children as a treat, but he can't afford to buy food for all five children, so instead of letting his children eat takeout while the others watch, he decided to just take them out once a week for their treat so nobody gets offended.

It turns out that his sister is still not happy with their weekly treat. "She says it's obvious that we are going out to eat good food since we leave before dinner and when we come back home we don't eat anything. While my kids won't brag about going out to eat they will answer honestly when my niece or nephews ask where we went."

Karri Francisco, director of family programming at APN, told Newsweek that at times boundaries are confused with demands, and a personal boundary is meant to protect yourself, not determine how others act.

"While attempting to advocate for her children, the sister could approach the situation more amicably," Francisco said. "The [brother] housing the family could try to see how these events impact the children. A parent seeing [their] children struggle over a significant event (such as the impact of not having a home of their own) could increase the sister's dysregulation, impacting her communication style in an unhealthy way."

She suggested that the siblings should continue their conversation during calm times and explore all the children's needs to look for places to compromise.

The "Am I Being Unreasonable" poll established that the poster is not at all being unreasonable, with 93 percent of all the 2744 votes on the poll agreeing on this stance.

One user, TheLightSideOfTheMoon commented: "OMG, ask them to leave. They sound like they think it's their house." And HamIsMyCake wrote: "You are going above and beyond (I wish my sister was like you). Don't give in to their totally unreasonable demands."

Another user, Petronus, pointed out: "Your sister has a lot of demands and opinions for someone who is accepting a big favor. Sounds like she needs to remember this." And Winterscomingagain, brought up another issue: "I'd be concerned that your accommodating them will slow down the council housing allocation. Surely they are homeless and should be stating this."

Midnights said: "Your sister sounds like a [cheeky f*****] in this post! Take your kids for their weekly meal, they shouldn't miss out. Your daughter should definitely not be forced to share a room - it's her only peace and quiet in this hectic-sounding household, if anything your sister and her husband should sleep downstairs and offer the spare bedroom to their DC if they're that concerned about it!"

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.