Woman Moving City to Avoid Brother-in-Law Splits Views: 'In Love With Me'

A woman who wants to move away with her husband after developing romantic feelings for her brother-in-law has been praised online.

In a post upvoted 8,800 times on Reddit, Unlikely_Librairian85 said her husband was offered a job in a town that is 20 hours from where they live. Despite being a "city girl" she wants to move there to put a halt to the "emotional affair" between her and his brother-in-law.

It's an approach that's in line with the recommendations of Jennifer Klesman, an author and practicing therapist who specializes in relationships, breakups and dating.

Klesman told Newsweek that putting distance between the two parties is an effective way of managing these types of situations.

"Just like feelings for anyone, sure they can grow and develop, but if you value your current relationship, seeing if they can then fade over time is an option," she said.

Klesman also stressed that lust can often cloud judgment and, in reality, the two parties may not be all that compatible. "Sometimes the idea of something being taboo or off-limits makes it all the more attractive, but then in reality it can't sustain being more than a secret affair."

However, the dilemma detailed in the Reddit post is a little more complicated than that. According to the post, the woman has been married to her husband for 11 years and is close to his sister and her husband.

Five years ago, she "started having feelings" for her brother-in-law but kept them under wraps writing: "I love my husband very much and I don't want to ruin our beautiful marriage."

Things changed earlier this year, however, when her brother-in-law revealed he'd been in love with her ever since she first married into his family and urged her to stop "pretending" she didn't feel the same.

The woman said she rebuffed his suggestions though and made a quick exit. She said the conversation left her guilt-ridden and she the "cried for weeks."

Since then, she has actively avoided her brother-in-law and his wife in a move that has "irritated" both her husband and his sister. Now her husband has been offered a job in a small town and she wants him to take it.

However, his brother-in-law has pleaded with her not to go and promised not to "bother" her again if she stays. Torn over what to do, the woman turned to social media for advice and got plenty of it.

Many echoed the advice of Klesman.

Vem3209 wrote: "It's easy to idealize someone you don't live with 24/7. Be careful." Proof-Ambassador agreed, commenting: "The grass isn't always greener on the other side. She might be in love with the idea of him."

SomeDuckWhoQuacks, meanwhile, said: "Honestly I would distance myself from him if I were you. This feeling will pass ... Crushes can be really intense, especially when you are with someone else long term and there is routine."

AWEDZ5 also warned: "There is a chance he is just bored and complacent then. Sounds like he needs to work on his relationship and instead of doing that he just decided to focus on you."

'The Painful Reality of Life'

Away from Reddit, psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist Silva Neves told Newsweek it was simply a matter of learning to "live with the painful reality of life."

"We can't always get what we want, and, unfortunately, we don't always choose who we have a crush on, which means that sometimes it can be inconvenient and inappropriate," he said.

"The modern romantic notion that we should not deny our heart the passion that makes it beat faster is ideal when there are no inappropriate obstacles, but, in this particular situation, it is best to not act on them."

He urged anyone in that situation to remember the things they enjoy and are grateful for in their lives and that, by not acting on their desires, they are "protecting other people against heartbreak."