Woman Refusing To Expose Wealthy Husband Cheating Sparks Concern: 'Get Out'

A woman has admitted she has discovered her husband is having an affair but is refusing to expose his adultery because he is "wealthy" and providing her with a "great life."

The confession came by way of a Reddit post shared online by a user writing under the handle Ok-Opportunity5306 and has drawn a concerned response on social media.

However, one leading relationship expert was left wondering what the woman's response said about the state of their marriage prior to the infidelity.

Discovering a partner has been carrying on a clandestine affair can be a disorientating experience that takes a lasting mental toll.

"Betrayal is the most damaging part of an affair," licensed marriage and family therapist David Klow told Cosmopolitan. "The person who was cheated on usually struggles to know what is real anymore. Their ability to discern what is real gets damaged."

The woman posting to Reddit has more reason than most. According to the post, her husband has been cheating on her with his best friend from college who separated from her husband and had been staying with them.

"I never had anything to worry about with them," she wrote. "I always thought if they wanted to, it would have happened already. I was mistaken."

Despite uncovering the adultery, however, she has decided against exposing them because he is paying her way through school.

"I was a barista before I met him and didn't even dare dreaming about starting college. Now I'm in engineering school," she said. "He pays for everything. We have a great house. I don't need to do anything but study and have fun."

Despite going along with the plan for several months now, she finds it difficult to be around him and tries to avoid sex, blaming it on "stress." She's now in a "race with time to finish school," fearing he may end things to be with his college friend.

She has at least three years of her course though and has already begun using contraception to ensure she does not get pregnant by her cheating spouse.

"Nobody knows. Not even my closest friends. Everyone thinks I'm the luckiest woman on Earth," she said. "Nobody knows that I cry myself to sleep every night."

Commenting on the post, Terri DiMatteo, a licensed professional counselor specializing in couples counseling and affair recovery, told Newsweek: "Trust and safety are the cornerstones of a secure relationship. This marriage lacks both."

DiMatteo continued: "It would be easy for readers to identify and empathize with this woman whose husband is cheating on her with his best friend. But one must acknowledge how the woman responds to the affair's discovery.

"Not once does she speak about her love for her husband. She doesn't state what she loves about him or what he means to her. Instead, she only talks about what she has secured from him: the opportunity to pursue a dream, become an engineer, have a beautiful home, and not have to do anything other than tend to her studies and have fun."

"The betrayal here is mutual," DiMatteo concluded. "The lies and deception are from both sides. Trust, respect, maturity, care, and honesty are lacking. If she truly loved him, she would confront him. She would be interested in fighting for him and their marriage. She isn't. Instead, she has strategized a method to run down the clock to get what she can from him: her education."

DiMatteo said the discovery of any infidelity is traumatizing and forces the couple to honestly examine their relationship and their true feelings for one another.

"This couple is going to great lengths to pretend that all is well. Likely, their true feelings about one another and their relationship are unfavorable," she said. "Unfortunately, neither appears ready or willing to examine that, though circumstances may force the issue if and when the truth surfaces."

Her concern was shared by many on Reddit.

Blade_982 felt the woman was making a mistake in trying to live with the knowledge of the affair, writing "nothing is worth your mental health or your sanity."

MummaGoose expressed similar concern, urging her to "get out and soon!"

Ellenripleyisanicon also called on her to reconsider her plans, commenting: "You don't have to live in this abject misery and subject yourself to this torture every day, it's going to be so unhealthy for you."

SFJetfire meanwhile suggested an alternative plan, writing: "Talk to a divorce lawyer NOW. Have an exit plan ready, just in case."

Newsweek contacted Ok-Opportunity5306 for comment but could not verify the details of the case.