Woman's Response to Friend's Husband Wanting To Have 'Alone Time' Cheered

The internet has backed a woman who has dodged her friend's husband's advances by calling her friend on the spot, multiple times, saying the man gives off "predator vibes."

In a post shared on Reddit on Thursday, the woman, under the username u/Thoaway53400943, explained that since moving back home after being away for three years, her friend's husband has been trying to get some "alone time" with her, and constantly bumps into her wherever she is.

Because this has happened multiple times, and she doesn't feel like telling her friend since they're still newlyweds, she's found a way to cope with the issue, getting her friend to come over every time her husband causally bumps into her asking for time together.

She said: "He ran into me in the restaurant last night and sat at my table without even asking if it was okay. I let it slide. He started complimenting my outfit and my nails!!!

caught man on a date with lover
A stock image shows a woman catching her husband on a date with his lover. The internet has backed a woman who has dodged her friend’s husband’s advances by calling her friend on the spot,... Getty Images

A study made on men and women involved in a monogamous relationship, published in 2017 in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior, showed that about 44 percent of the 484 participants cheated on their partners.

When it comes to marriage, data from multiple studies has shown that about 20 to 40 percent of married American men and 20 to 25 percent of married American women will have an affair at some point in their lives.

In her post, the woman added: "[He] then went on about how he's always wanted us to have 'alone' time together so that we could 'get to know each other well.' I smiled and immediately texted Camila telling her husband was with me and asked her to join us for dinner."

When the man left with his girlfriend, he called the poster saying she shouldn't have called the former and that she was being "sneaky and dismissive" towards his wishes and that she had hurt his feelings.

Marriage and family therapist based in Pennsylvania, Rabia Khara told Newsweek the best friend needed to communicate the husband's behavior to the wife as opposed to just texting vaguely to come over.

"Unless the best friend expresses how she's feeling about the husband's unwanted attention the wife will remain in the dark. The recommendation is to confront the husband what his intentions are for an 'alone time' because it's possible that the best friend is perceiving his attempt to get to know her as having ill intentions and without confirmation, it's mere speculation.

"If the situation has become so uncomfortable that [the] husband is being labeled 'stalker' the best friend should ask him to stop.

"The wife should be informed by the best friend about the situation so one-sided information is not coming from the husband; and the women are not putting their own friendship at risk because inevitably if left unresolved by the best friend, that outcome is likely to happen."

The post which was first shared on the r/AmItheA**hole subreddit has so far gotten over 4,800 upvotes and 713 comments, and people are not holding back on what they think of the man.

The top comment by Arbor_Arabicae, with over 13,200 upvotes, said: "[Not The A**hole]. That was epic. You were 'sneaky and dismissive' of his wishes? Give me a break. You might want to talk with her about how he's behaving, though. He sounds very creepy."

NoreastNorwest added: "Gaslighting 101. He's scary." Odubik wrote: "He is a creepy misogynist. I feel like he is following you to these places—he finds you too frequently! If he keeps being aggressive like this, record him and send it to his wife. You would not be doing her any favors by keeping this secret."

Another user, Misaki88 said: "Mmhm!! OP [You (are) The A**hole] if you don't tell your friend what her husband has been up to. She needs to know the truth, so she can make a decision whether or not to continue the marriage. He sounds Dexter scary. [Not The A**hole] for calling your friend when her creepy-a** husband stalks you."

And Ok-Organization-2767 pointed out: "Camilla hasn't said anything about how many times you call her about running into her husband? You need to tell her since she isn't putting things together on her own."

Dude_wheres_the_pie said: "100% agree OPs friend needs to know. He's giving off predator vibes.

"Don't answer any more calls from him, unless you're able to record them (regardless of legality, those only come into play if brought before a court) so you've proof in case he tries to twist your conversations in any way. And he definitely gives off the vibes that he would."

Newsweek reached out to u/Thoaway53400943 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Has an infidelity broken your trust in your partner? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Maria Azzurra Volpe is a Newsweek Lifestyle Reporter based in London. Her focus is reporting on lifestyle and trends-related stories, ... Read more

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