Woman Threatening to Disown Her Sister-in-Law if She Falls Pregnant Praised

The internet has backed a woman who warned her sister-in-law against getting pregnant, saying she will "disown" her if she has a baby.

In a post shared to Reddit late last month in the Am I the A****** (AITA) forum, under the username u/NerveGlad8425, the poster explained that after going through a rough patch financially a few years ago, her brother and sister-in-law took her into their home and helped her out, until recently when her sister-in-law got "baby fever" and started talking about getting pregnant.

The poster wrote that after she was able to get back on her feet, she ended up staying with them because they were going through some financial instability themselves, and she wanted to return the favor by helping them out.

"I cover probably 2/3 of all the bills because my SIL doesn't work and my brother pays an ungodly amount of child support to his ex-wife. The financial issues can go ahead and be another point in the situation," u/NerveGlad8425 wrote.

Living in poverty is a reality for millions of Americans. According to the latest statistics published by the United States Census Bureau, the official poverty rate in 2021 was 11.6 percent, with 37.9 million people in poverty.

The main issue for the poster started when her sister-in-law, who already has a daughter from a previous marriage that lives with them, started having thoughts about getting pregnant.

"First of all, I know my brother had the snip after his divorce from his first wife. He would have to have the procedure reversed and his insurance will not cover it, and to be frank they cannot afford that," u/NerveGlad8425 wrote. "My [sister-in-law] also can barely take care of herself. She sleeps most of the day. She does not clean, she does not cook, she doesn't take care of the child she already has... her daughter is 6 yrs old and she doesn't even interact with her unless she HAS to. That is a totally separate issue...I have become a live-in maid and nanny on top of working 45 or more hrs a week.

The poster added: "[She] lost custody of her other child about 2 [years] ago. He is 11 and living with family. I do not know why she even lost custody but he SAYS he was abused. She did not fight to get him back."

After her brother told her he was going to get his vasectomy reversed, the poster told them that they were "out of their minds," and that she was not on board with their decision.

She wrote: "It got explosive and I finally asked who was going to take care of a baby when my brother works full time, I work full time and she constantly makes excuses to not even do basic s*** around the house like take the dog outside. She really had the nerve to tell me 'I thought you could handle them when you get off work before (brother) gets home so the load is evenly distributed.'"

u/NerveGlad8425 continued: "I blew up! I told her I am not going to be a parent to ANOTHER one of her kids and that if they really do this then I am totally done and they are on their own. I told my brother I would always love him and help him if he needs me but that I would never talk to SIL and make sure the rest of the family disowns her too. I think I was probably TA for saying that the way I did. She started crying and locked herself in the bedroom."

Her brother did not like her answer, but when he threatened to kick her out of his home because of what she said, she told him that he wouldn't be able to because he can't afford it.

Forensic psychiatrist Carole Lieberman, who hosts the online radio show Dr. Carole's Couch, told Newsweek that although telling her sister-in-law she'll "disown" her if she gets pregnant is a bit over the top, the poster should certainly set ground rules.

"Indeed, the poster's problem is that she didn't set clear enough ground rules from the beginning, though she could hardly have anticipated that her sister-in-law would suddenly start feeling maternal. I don't think the poster has much to worry about because hopefully, her brother will put his foot down and not try to get his vasectomy reversed, since your sister-in-law has not shown that she can be a good mother to the two children she already has," Lieberman said. "She's undoubtedly expecting you to take care of any new baby she would have, so you do need to make it clear to both of them that your Cinderella days are over."

Reddit Users React

u/NerveGlad8425's post quickly went viral on Reddit, receiving over 12,400 upvotes and 1,900 comments on the platform.

One user, Imaginary_Being1949, commented: "I was fully prepared going into this to say you were [The A******] but after reading it, [Not The A******]. Your dads right, it shouldn't be your business, but they made it that way because they're including you in their childcare plans. If she wants another child so bad, why not work at getting the child she already has and lost custody of back."

Reddit user HydrangeaDream wrote: "The thing is, she doesn't want a CHILD, she wants a BABY."

Changelingcd wrote: "You need to get out of this living situation and detangle yourself from them. Before your brother can 'kick you out,' find yourself a tiny apartment so you can watch the inevitable disasters from a safe distance. [Not The A******], but get out now: you're already paying and working far too much for this household, and you're enabling a lazy parent. Without you, their dumb marriage will hopefully implode before he gets his vasectomy reversed."

And jasperjamboree commented: "If they can't afford to support themselves, they can't support a baby that has a high likelihood of facing ab*se and neglect. OP is right to put their foot down even though it's fallen upon deaf ears. [Not The A******]."

Newsweek reached out to u/NerveGlad8425 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.

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