Anger at Woman's 'Insulting' Comment to Terminally Ill Son-In-Law

A woman was blasted online over a "foolish" remark made to her son-in-law, who has been left reeling in the wake of a stage IV cancer diagnosis.

In a Reddit post shared under the handle u/Far_Concentrate_3743, which currently has 27,000 upvotes and 4,000 comments, the terminally ill man described how he erupted at his mother-in-law after she made a "weird" and "insensitive" remark about his heartbreaking situation.

According to the Redditor, he is "probably going to die within 1-2 years" and as a result, his "fuse is shortened with certain people."

Those people include his mother-in-law, who was left upset after he scolded her over a passing remark. According to the Reddit post, she said to him: "It must be so hard for your family and what your family is going through. I want you to know this is not your fault."

She had said something similar in the past, according to the Redditor, but he had switched the topic to avoid discussing it further. This time, however, he let fly, replying: "No s***, it's pretty obvious I didn't deserve cancer and I know it's not my fault for getting it."

The woman branded her son-in-law "rude" over the remark.

When it comes to dealing with someone going through grief, like if they are grieving a shocking medical diagnosis, sometimes it's better to say nothing at all.

In a 2019 WebMD poll of 780 people who had experienced grief over the past few years, respondents were asked: "What were the most unhelpful things said or done to you as you grieved?"

Forty-six percent of respondents said they were told "it could be worse" while 42 percent recalled being suggested they moved on or sought closure. Elsewhere, 33 percent said they were told what to do or received "unsolicited advice."

Commenting on the situation, JoLeann Trine, a licensed clinical professional counselor at Thriveworks, a nationwide provider of in-person and online therapy services, told Newsweek: "When helping my clients process similar situations, we focus on risk. The risks in this case may include the long-term health of his relationship with his in-laws and an increase in other connected stressors."

She expressed concern that the "increased stress and conflict" generated by the fallout represents the "exact opposite of what he needs at this point in his life."

Trine urged the Redditor to "try communicating their feelings in a non-judgmental way, assuming the best of intentions, kind of way," and added: "Avoid automatically assigning other's intentions or leaning on passive or implied communication."

But while Trine was eager to encourage open and positive communication, the Reddit community appeared less forgiving. Many commenters felt his response was entirely justified given the banality of what his mother-in-law said.

"Focus on your health and well-being. Her feelings about your response to her foolish comment are hers to manage," one commenter wrote on the post. "If anyone is owed an apology it's you. You may want to reduce your exposure to this person, you don't need her extra drama."

Another Redditor said: "That's a pretty big assumption on their part, and quite insulting, if they think they need to remind you it's not your fault. Then to say YOU were being rude? When you were pointing out how ridiculous and patronizing that statement was with your response?"

A third person commented: "Your in-laws were basically telling you how hard it is on the people around you, but not even recognizing what this is doing to you."

Newsweek reached out to u/Far_Concentrate_3743 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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