Couple in Polyamorous Relationship for 20 Years Share Their One Single Rule

Andrea Peters, 40, and her husband Brandon, 44, started their relationship when she was 18, and shortly after they agreed that each may have sexual relations with others.

"We didn't want to be middle-aged and have regrets about not being with other people," she told Newsweek.

At the start, the couple had rules in place while they navigated their way through non-monogamy. More than two decades later, the only rule they have is to be transparent when it comes to seeing other people.

"At first, we only had casual connections with people but after 10 years, Brandon and I began to question why we had a 'no falling in love' rule," said Peters.

The couple decided to scrap the restriction and their marriage materialized into a polyamorous one, meaning they agreed to form romantic relationships with other people. Peters went on to have a relationship with someone for seven years.

Peters explained: "Rules are put into place to protect a couple but they are difficult to maintain and make the relationship much harder. We found rules prevent freedom and stop the relationship from flowing naturally.

"Now, the only agreement Brandon and I have is to tell each other if we intend on having sex with someone or pursuing another relationship.

"However, it isn't always realistic to know or tell about sex as it's not always planned but, in that case, we would tell one another afterward."

In June, Peters and her long-term boyfriend David Williams, 42, who also has a wife and another partner got engaged. However, the couple will not be able to legally tie the knot. Therefore, the couple intends to celebrate their union during a ceremony instead.

Peters told Newsweek: "I always felt my most natural when in two relationships at a time, I feel very happy and complete with Brandon, but I don't feel like I should restrict myself either.

"After a breakup with my ex, I realized I wanted more than just physical connections with other people."

Peters told Newsweek: "I met David in a local polyamory Facebook group, and we only met three times before the pandemic lockdown.

"It never started off as casual. We both had the intention of having a loving relationship.

"We fell in love with each other before any physical intimacy, as the first few months of our relationship were during the early pandemic and we were only speaking via video calls."

In 2021, Kinsey Institute researchers found one in six Americans would like to engage in polyamorous relationships. And one in nine Americans have already been involved in one.

While their relationship is unconventional, Peters couldn't be happier. She insists they are all "normal and happy" people.

She told Newsweek: "I now have two complete relationships that are fulfilling, and I am in love with both of them, I don't feel like I should limit them.

"Polyamorous people can be in multiple committed relationships that are fulfilled. We aren't lacking anything and we are pretty normal happy people."

Peters insists she doesn't feel jealous when her partners see other people.

"Jealousy is rarely an issue for me. I don't experience it very often but when I do, I feel like something is going on in that relationship that needs to be addressed. Perhaps I am not feeling like I am being given a lot of attention and my needs aren't being met.

"The most difficult thing about having two partners is trying to coordinate our dates. David lives with his wife, so he typically comes to my place but I sometimes go over too.

"I am very happy, and I haven't got any negative feelings when they are with other women. I have never experienced jealousy regarding them being sexually involved with someone else," she said.

Peters and Brandon have a child together and they are open and honest about their unconventional marriage.

"I told my daughter when she was 6 years old. She didn't have anything to say. Kids are pretty easy.

"I check in regularly with her to see if she has any concerns but...it is her normal. She is in the house when David comes round but he doesn't take on a parental role," she told Newsweek.

While their daughter is understanding, the outside world can be more judgmental.

"Overall, there is a huge lack of understanding of polyamorous relationships which leads to negative feelings and discrimination," said Peters. "People assume that polyamorous people haven't found the one yet, they believe that when you find the right person you won't be in these relationships anymore. But this certainly isn't the case either."

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