Brother Blocking Bride From Hosting Wedding at Family Property Praised

A post about a brother refusing to accommodate his sister's wedding at his property has gone viral on Reddit, where it had over 20,600 upvotes at the time of writing.

In a post shared on Reddit's Am I The A****** (AITA) subforum under the username Throwrasistaplz, the 25-year-old brother said: "I own a property/popular wedding venue property that my sister wants to get married on, but she didn't tell me the dates until a few months before. It is booked [by another couple] for the day she wants."

"I won't cancel the other couples' reservations..." he wrote.

His 29-year-old sister allegedly "went off" on how he is "ruining HER day" and said he "should just tell the other couple to cancel."

Is the bride-to-be being unreasonable? Or should the brother be more accommodating?

Wedding rings on top of calendar.
A stock image of two wedding bands and a pen seen on top of a calendar with a heart-shaped marking on one of the dates. A post about a brother refusing to host his sister's... iStock / Getty Images Plus

Life coach Tarla Makaeff told Newsweek that to expect the brother to "rearrange an entire schedule with paid clients who also are excited about their day and have made plans surrounding that, is showing an unreal level of entitlement."

Clinical psychologist Brianna Gaynor told Newsweek: "As the owner and operator of the property, the brother has a responsibility to honor commitments to couples who have already booked the venue."

The latest Reddit post comes after a record year for weddings in the U.S., where an estimated 2.6 million couples got married in 2022, according to The Knot. The wedding planning website conducted a survey of 12,000 couples who got hitched in 2022.

The brother in the latest Reddit post said his late grandparents left him an "amazing property in the mountains," which he turned into a venue mainly for weddings.

He said the venue is usually booked about eight months out. His sister got engaged a year and a half ago and said she wanted to get married at the property. He agreed to it, asking her to let him know the date "as soon as possible" so he can make sure the date is booked. But he "never got a date" from her.

The brother said: "I followed up several times and kept asking her, and she would brush me off." Around two weeks ago, he received the wedding invitation, which noted a September wedding date and stated his property as the wedding venue. He immediately called his sister to tell her that the venue is already booked for her chosen wedding date and that he can't accommodate her.

He said his sister, their family, and her partner's family have been "blowing up" on him since. "They are also calling and writing reviews for my business."

His sister "went off" on him, saying, "It is OUR family's property" and noting that "she already sent out the invitations and couldn't go back now."

According to the poster, the sister said: "I should just tell the other couple to cancel...family is more important."

The brother explained: "Literally all she had to do was tell me when she knew her date so I could block it and I would take care of everything else." He suggested three other dates around the same time, "but that's not good enough."

Lack of Communication

Makaeff said: "It's unheard of for a bride to select a wedding venue and mail out invitations naming that venue without actually first booking it.

"There is a classic issue going on here that is so prevalent in the breakdown of any relationships: lack of communication. The brother is not wrong. He made multiple efforts to try to coordinate a date for his sister's wedding. She never responded...," the life coach noted.

Gaynor said: "Navigating family dynamics can be challenging, especially in situations like this. It appears that there was a miscommunication between a brother and sister regarding a wedding venue.

"It's important to understand each other's perspectives and work together to find a solution that respects everyone's commitments. Good communication and empathy are key in resolving conflicts," the psychologist added.

'Entitlement'

Several Redditors sided with the original poster and criticized the bride-to-be.

In a comment that got 23,300 upvotes, user smallsaltybread wrote: "NTA [not the a******], but your sister is a giant A H [a******] for expecting you to cancel another couple's date for...what? Selfish family? She needed to tell you the date and didn't, that's on her."

User wildcat12321 said: "who TF [the f***] sends out invitations for a date before even contacting the venue?NTA...I just don't understand how people can be so consumed in their own weddings..." in a comment that got 8,900 upvotes.

AdventurousSleep5461 said: "Ho Lee entitlement! I cannot IMAGINE having the audacity to think you'd just have your wedding at a property that's currently on the market because you figure no one lives there and it's god's will. Just wow."

Do you have a wedding-related story or dilemma to share? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

Uncommon Knowledge

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Soo Kim is a Newsweek reporter based in London, U.K. She covers various lifestyle stories, specializing in travel and health. 

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