Gen Z And Boomers Don't Agree With Millennials on 'Work Wife' Excuse

Millennials disapprove of the idea of having a "work spouse," research conducted on behalf of Newsweek has revealed.

In a poll conducted by Redfield & Wilton Strategies for Newsweek on March 20, 1,500 U.S. adults were asked about workplace relationships and work spouses. A work spouse is a phrase referring to a co-worker with whom someone shares a special relationship that can include a bond similar to a marriage.

Of U.S. adults surveyed, 21 percent said they think it is OK to have a work spouse, while 45 percent said it was not appropriate. However, there was a big difference in how different generations feel. Those in Gen Z (ages 18-24) mostly felt that a work spouse was acceptable, with only 39 percent saying it was "not OK," and Boomers (55+) agreed, with only 40 percent saying that a work spouse was not OK. Millennials (ages 25-34), however, felt differently.

Of adults aged 25-34, 57 percent said it wouldn't be acceptable to have a work spouse. Only 18 percent said they thought a work spouse was OK, while 17 percent said it depended on circumstances. Eight percent said they did not know.

New York employment attorney Jon Bell from Bell Law Group told Newsweek: "It is not unusual for close relationships to form in the workplace. Depending on the environment as well as the duties and functions of the particular position, the job may require enough collaboration that would naturally develop into a close relationship."

But when it comes to the use of the phrases "work wife" or "work husband," Bell said he would advise against it: "Given the current environment, we would recommend against using this phraseology. Although this phrase has been used innocently throughout the years to describe employees—more commonly of opposite genders—that work closely together and rely on one another, the terms 'wife' and 'husband' can imply that a sexual component exists between the two members, and that can cause discomfort."

Emily* is 32 and lives in London. Working in property development, she once had a work husband who has since become her real-life husband.

"We started working in the same department and got on extremely well," Emily told Newsweek. "We ended up being placed on the same development and worked very well together. I've always had a work fridge stocked up with food and he was very 100-miles-an-hour so he wouldn't always remember to eat."

Emily would ensure that her work husband had a good lunch and their relationship slowly grew as they got to know each other better.

"We were very good friends for almost two years," she explained. But after years working together they both split with their long-term partners and before long they fell for each other.

"We started dating few months after the end of our respective relationships, and about 2 years into knowing each other," said Emily. "We got married 2-and-a-half years later and now have a wonderful little girl together."

After her work spouse became her real spouse, Emily explained that while many of these relationships can be platonic, she believes they should be treated with caution.

"I think they can be platonic, however I also believe that work husband/wife relationship fills in a void that exists in someone's romantic relationship," she said. "Most work husbands/wives will never become romantic, but I think it's a great opportunity for people to realize that there is something that they are missing at home that they are getting from this close work relationship."

Relationship expert Ceza Ouzounian told Newsweek: "If this relationship is a platonic relationship, there is nothing wrong with this type of relationship. A lot of people have close friendships with colleagues. It can however cause issues. If boundaries aren't set that this is purely a friendship, it can cause one person—or both—to have more feelings than just friendship."

She added: "There is the issue of a partner in the person's personal life getting jealous or suspicious. When a person wants to spend more time with a work wife than with their actual wife, that will inevitably cause problems."

Martin* is in his late 50s and told Newsweek: "I worked with a woman who jokingly referred to herself as my work wife. I didn't mind at all. We often worked together and got on well. But she is very happily married and I'm perfectly content with having her as a friend."

Today, the pair work in different locations, but still spend time together as friends doing things they both enjoy.

"I've never been the jealous type so it wouldn't bother me if a partner told me they had a work spouse," said Martin. "It would only concern me if it was obvious it had gone beyond friendship or supportive colleague relationship—but then, that would bother me if that was the case with any relationship my partner had."

When it comes to how different generations view these sorts of professional relationships, Ouzounian had a theory: "Millennials and Gen Z view relationships differently. Millennials are at a different stage in their lives financially, emotionally, mentally and may not want to use the term work wife or work husband as they don't want to risk impacting a personal romantic relationship."

*Names in this story have been changed for anonymity.

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