Navigating dating apps can be a minefield, with everyone trying to show off their best selves, and some bending the truth to look good online. However people present themselves electronically, guesswork and judgement are still rife.
Combine this with autism, a neurological disorder that "affects how people interact with others, communicate, learn, and behave," according to the National Institute for Mental Health, and the complicated world of dating gets even more challenging.
Miia Skyler Bricker, a 24-year-old yoga teacher from London, Ontario, has made it her mission to help her brother, Kieran, a 22-year-old carpenter with autism, to find the right person online.
In a video posted to her TikTok account, Miia can be seen taking pictures for Kieran's dating profile, and practicing what to say on a date.
"I was prepping my brother to get him ready to take headshots for his dating profiles and social media platforms," Bricker told Newsweek. "I also asked him a few questions to help others to get to know him a bit better."
An estimated 5,437,988 adults in the U.S have Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), with the highest number of adults with ASD (701,669) living in California.
"I wanted to create more awareness around the effort that goes into dating for people on the spectrum," said Bricker. "My brother has experienced a lot of negativities in the dating world, so I really wanted to help him set up a great profile to attract the best kind of people for him.
"Kieran experiences a lot of overthinking when trying to figure out what to say to girls," she added. "He fears that people will treat him differently once they know he is on the spectrum."
People with autism experience all the same feelings as everybody else, and "in fact, studies have found that their feelings can be more intense than those of neurotypical people," the Adult Autism Center says. "However, autism makes it harder to show or express emotion in the ways that are socially expected of them, so they are often misinterpreted as apathetic."
Kieran mentions his autism on his dating profile, a brave move given the perceived stigma.
"He does think there is a stigma," said Bricker. "He notices that people treat him differently and tend to be a bit colder towards him to avoid deep conversation. He feels a lack of respect, but with age he finds that he deals with this less and less.
"A lot of people assume that Kieran is antisocial since he is on the spectrum but in reality, all he wants to do is socialize and create new connections. Growing up, he was always looking for new friends to make."
One of the challenges with dating, and even more so with doing it online, is a lack of honesty and difficulty with interpreting intentions, but dating someone with autism can bring some unique strengths to the process.
"One value that people with autism bring to relationships is their candidness: people on the spectrum tend to bluntly verbalize what's on their mind," the Adult Autism Center says. "Their honest, straightforward communication style can be a relief in the dating world, where people are often too subtle with their self-expression."
Bricker said Kieran is looking for someone respectful, and who likes him for who he is, a sentiment no doubt echoed by almost everyone looking for love.
"He'd love to find someone accepting with a kind heart and adventurous soul," said Bricker. "He loves to laugh and enjoy the little things."
Happily, Kieran has received an "overwhelming number of responses from different girls all over the world," according to his sister.
"Everyone has been very kind throughout this process but we haven't taken it a step further yet. Once Kieran feels ready he will be reaching out to potential matches. He appreciates all of the love and kindness from everyone. It is very beautiful and moving to watch from my perspective. We never thought he would get to experience something like this."
Judging by the comments on his TikTok video, Kieran will have no problem finding the right people to date.
"The type of man who will bring you flowers and walk you to your door," said one person. "Made me smile. What a handsome and sweet guy. His soulmate is definitely out there," wrote another.
Newsweek's "What Should I Do?" offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
About the writer
Leonie Helm is a Newsweek Life Reporter and is based in London, UK. Her focus is reporting on all things ... Read more
To read how Newsweek uses AI as a newsroom tool, Click here.
