A TikTok video has sparked backlash after the creator shared dating preferences and said that "fat women are freaking gross", and Newsweek spoke with an expert about what was said—and if it should have been said at all.
Last week, TikTok user xtheromanempire, or Nicholas Roman, shared a video with a caption that said "This WILL TRIGGER 99% of people."
In the video, Roman begins by saying "I think fat women are freaking gross. Not really a fan of Indian women. Trans dudes, they look f****** weird. All of those are dating preferences of mine, and I'm allowed to have those, and so are you."
The creator of the video goes on to say, "I love all people just the same and I believe in unity among all people, but I'm allowed to have a dating preference."
Over the past few months, members of the LGBTQ+ community have faced issues relating to conservative boycotts and legislation seeking to prohibit gender-affirming care for minors. Additionally, in March 2022, Bloomberg reported that weight discrimination in the workplace remains legal in many U.S. states. Citing a study from the National Library of Medicine, Bloomberg also reported that an American woman sees an hourly pay rate decrease by 2 percent for every six pounds gained.
Shortly after the initial video was posted, Roman published another video responding to the backlash he received in the comments with a caption that said "I'm not sorry."
Responding to one comment relating to his remarks about plus-sized women, Roman said, "I know for a fact you have more important things to do with your time than obsess over what some idiotic bald guy on the internet thinks about dating preferences."
Another comment on the initial video said, "Imagine saying fat women are gross when you look like a literal egg."
Similarly, another comment said, "Obviously it's ok to have dating preferences but you don't have to put people down just to express that."
"Dating preferences and insulting people are a little different," another commenter wrote in the initial video.
In the follow-up video, Roman goes on to say that "people missed the point of the other video. The point of the video was any of those statements standalone, it was all meant as clickbait and I think so many people just took it literally and didn't understand that it was clickbait."
"If you say that like fat people are gross, Indian people are weird or that trans people look weird, anything like that standalone and you're not talking about dating preferences, that's not ok," Roman says. "However, that's not fat-phobic; you're not saying you hate fat people; you're saying that's just not a preference of mine.
"The literal point is it's not about phobias, it's about loving the people but when it comes to dating preferences, just because you have a preference doesn't mean you hate a certain people," Roman added.
Carole Lieberman, a Beverly Hills psychiatrist told Newsweek on Tuesday, "Everyone has dating preferences, though not everyone announces them on social media. Still, according to the First Amendment, we are allowed by law to speak our mind - except in dangerous circumstances like yelling fire in a crowded theater."
"So, at risk of getting backlash, there is nothing wrong with him saying - even on social media - that he thinks fat women are gross and wouldn't want to date them. You know that the majority of people who saw this post agree with him. They're just too fearful of saying it out loud because they don't want backlash - not because they don't think fat women are gross," Lieberman told Newsweek.
Newsweek reached out to an email listed in Roman's TikTok bio for further comment.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
About the writer
Matthew Impelli is a Newsweek staff writer based in New York. His focus is reporting social issues and crime. In ... Read more
