I Have Long COVID. It Upended My Life in Unimaginable Ways

I couldn't move. The fatigue was overwhelming. My heart was pounding and it felt like nothing was real. It was how I imagined a hypnotised person to feel when they are psychologically paralysed.

I genuinely believed I would remain like that forever. I laid on the sofa like a stone statue in agony. It was as if all hope had abandoned me and I was in a state of despair, questioning whether I would ever regain my previous quality of life.

My experience of long COVID has been an arduous journey that has tested my physical and emotional limits. Throughout this experience, I have encountered moments of despair and doubt, but I have also discovered resilience and gratitude within myself.

Before February 2023, I lived life at one hundred miles per hour and I pushed myself in every aspect of my existence.

As a full-time high school science teacher and captain of a high-level hockey team, I didn't leave much room for rest. I was a self-proclaimed, people-pleasing perfectionist that enjoyed exercising, spending time with loved ones, and pursuing my passions without limitations.

I never imagined that anything could stop me.

In hindsight, I was heading to physical and emotional burnout and whatever I was running on, it wasn't sustainable. But before my fuel gauge emptied, I got COVID—and it was like a car crashing into a wall.

Following my initial COVID infection, I naively assumed that my life would quickly return to normal. I pushed myself to get back to work, resumed exercising, and even played a game of hockey. It was 'business as usual'.

However, as time passed, I began to realize that my recovery was far from complete. I had lingering fatigue, brain fog, and persistent body aches that gradually took hold of my daily life. Simple tasks such as lesson planning or engaging in conversations became overwhelming challenges.

Eventually, I saw a consultant that signed me off work for three weeks, which made me feel physically sick. Initially, I did not take the 'fitness to work' note seriously and told my employers that I'd be back soon.

I was so blissfully unaware of what was to come.

It has been over three months since that consultation and I am now even further away from getting back to work.

I experience bouts of crushing fatigue, accompanied by migraines, chest pains, joint aches, and muscle weakness. I am constantly out of breath, I have heart palpitations when I stand, and feel extremely lightheaded.

I struggle to enjoy eating anything, as I no longer have a hunger trigger. If food wasn't placed in front of me, I probably wouldn't eat.

My brain no longer functions the same cognitively. I have episodes of intense 'brain fog', where my mental clarity is elusive and memory feels like a distant echo. I sometimes lose grip of reality and nothing feels real. This derealization makes it difficult to connect with others and it can feel extremely isolating.

Mentally, I do not feel motivated to do things I once loved. At times, I feel anxious about my future and the small things too. My nervous system is on overdrive and every little stimulus in the environment sends me into 'fight or flight' mode.

Every day is Groundhog Day; I wake up to my body experimenting with different combinations of symptoms to find the perfect concoction of discomfort.

Although many other long COVID sufferers have sadly experienced doubt regarding their condition, I am thankful I am yet to encounter it myself.

The skepticism surrounding long COVID can be incredibly disheartening and isolating. More awareness needs to be spread to educate those that do not understand the complexity and long-term impact of long COVID.

I have been extremely blessed to have the full, unconditional support of my loved ones through this time. I am also grateful that the healthcare professionals I was fortunate to see offered appropriate and accurate advice that allowed me to receive a diagnosis very early on.

Others have not been so lucky.

To date, I have finally accepted that I am living with long COVID and I am implementing multiple strategies to support my recovery, such as an anti-inflammatory diet, pacing, and meditation.

I started writing a blog to share my story and I also joined social media long COVID communities to source advice, raise awareness and support others that are also struggling. This has been invaluable in my recovery.

Long COVID has upended my life in unimaginable ways. It has stripped away pieces of my independence and cast a shadow of uncertainty over my future. However, I will continue to keep positive and feel hopeful, as I know that even in the darkest of times, light can still be found.

To those enduring the challenges that long COVID brings, I want you to know that you are not alone. Count your blessings, no matter how small they may be. Take it day by day and celebrate the small victories you will inevitably achieve.

Be patient and finally, be very kind to yourself.

Jemma Bella is a resilient 24-year-old navigating life with the challenges of long COVID. She blogs at her website and you can also find her on TikTok and YouTube.

All views expressed are the author's own.

Do you have a unique experience or personal story to share? Email the My Turn team at myturn@newsweek.com.