A family online is giving a laudable lesson in "gentle parenting."
Their video on TikTok has gone viral after the mother, Nika Diwa (@nikadiwa), captured her husband disciplining her children by gently reminding them that she is his "number one." The video has made rounds online, gaining over a million likes and more than 3,700 comments in the two days since it was posted.
"There's something about the way my husband stands up for me even with our kids," Diwa captioned the clip. "One thing about my husband: He will always put me first."
The video is shot secretly from around the corner of a wall. In it, Diwa's husband gives their child a firm but gentle talking-to about disrespect.
"When you're ready to apologize to mom, please let me know, alright?" he said in the video. "Do you understand that that's my wife, right? In this household, mommy is always number one. Mommy puts me number one, and I put her number one. That's the only way that we can make you, make sure that you have everything that you need. That you're always safe."
Viewers in the comments praised Diwa's husband for his approach to discipline, noting the importance of children knowing their parents are on the same "team".
"More parents need to get this concept," @emkay6327 wrote. "They are a team not easily divided."
Some shared stories of their own fathers standing up for their mothers, and how these experiences remained with them through adulthood: "Once I raised my voice at my mom when I was a teen. My dad stood up and said, 'No one talks to my wife that way'...I was sat," @noterinpz wrote.
"This one time, me and my sisters hurt my mom's feelings and my dad went out and said, 'That is my wife, the love of my life, and you will not talk to her like that.' That was the only time he's ever raised his voice at us in our lives. I was like, 10, and I never made that mistake again," @hey_itz.talia wrote.
Users praised the family for the example of "gentle parenting" they displayed in holding their child accountable, but with compassion.
"This is the first actual example of gentle parenting and not permissive parenting that I've seen! Go mom and dad go!" @cowboykenboi wrote.
@nikadiwa One thing about my husband he will always put me first #marriage #parenthood
♬ original sound - Nika Diwa
What Is 'Gentle Parenting'?
The distinction between gentle and permissive parenting is one that many people confuse. According to creators on TikTok and parenting blogs, many believe that gentle parenting is actually permissive parenting—that is, letting children run amok with little accountability.
One creator on TikTok made a video describing the difference. She said: "People who gentle parent correctly are not soft, they're warriors."
Drawing on her reading of the Montessori method, she emphasized accountability as a key marker of gentle parenting versus permissive parenting. Employing accountability—in contrast to punishment, which is a feature of more authoritarian parenting—can help children feel calm and connected without excusing their behavior.
Diwa's video, according to viewers, seems to embody this well.
Newsweek reached out to @nikadiwa for comment via TikTok.
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