Man Cheered for Walking Out of Wife's Birthday Meal: 'Suck It Up'

A man who sat alone in his car rather than eat in a restaurant with his wife on her birthday has been backed online.

"This weekend her parents wanted to take her out to dinner, wherever she wanted to go," the man explained in a post on Reddit's r/AmITheA****** subreddit with over 11,000 upvotes. "She asked my opinion on it, and I simply answered, 'literally anywhere except Shoguns is fine.'

"She knows I don't like the restaurant, I just don't like the flavors. Her dad loves the place so we've been there often, every single time I have not liked it, so I came to the conclusion I just would stop going there."

But when it came to deciding where they were going for dinner, his wife and her family did pick Shogun, a Japanese grill and sushi restaurant.

Arguments over dinner aren't uncommon, from a man praised for refusing to take his "picky eater" girlfriend out for dinner to a woman who went out of her way to make her family meal uncomfortable.

"I think 'Okay, no big deal I'll just get a kids meal or something,'" the Redditor wrote. "I remind my wife on the way to the restaurant that I don't plan on eating anything off the menu, but I would be more than happy to sit with everyone, enjoy the company, and I will order the chicken strips. She's happy, I'm happy, all good."

But when they arrived at the restaurant, the server explained that the kids' meals were for people aged 10 and younger and that there is a policy that each person must pay $10 whether they are eating or not.

"I asked again if I could just get the kids meal then, they refused, my wife was getting upset over the $10 charge for me to just sit there, so I told my wife I'm not paying $10 to watch everyone else eat dinner, f*** that," said the man, who then went to sit outside in his car.

"Now I'm sitting outside in the car, my wife is mad at me, and my wife's parents I'm sure are not thrilled as well," he wrote. "I guess I'm just feeling guilty, so the real question here is AITA? Should I have paid the $10 to sit at the table and watch everyone eat food that I can't even stand the smell of?"

Elizabeth Wyse, editorial director of Debretts etiquette coaching company, told Newsweek that the man should have stayed for dinner.

"If you are going to a restaurant as somebody's guest, or for a special celebration, you will need to adjust your behavior. It is not appropriate to make a fuss about the menu, the service or the quality of the meal," Wyse said. "While you are quite entitled to complain about these things when you are the person who is picking up the bill in everyday circumstances, if you are going to a restaurant to treat somebody else you must ensure that your behavior does not impact negatively on them."

But on Reddit, people felt that the man wasn't in the wrong to go and sit in his car alone during the meal and backed his actions.

"NTA [Not The A******]," said one reply. "She asked your opinion and you told her literally anywhere but shoguns. Why she chose it is anyone's guess, but it was a thoughtless thing to do, birthday or not. And she shouldn't be mad at you."

Another Redditor said: "She knows you're unable to eat the food and chose [the] restaurant anyway. Paying to watch others eat is dumb. She was rude for forcing you into the situation."

Not everyone agreed that the man was in the right, though. One commenter wrote: "You're an adult and adults sometimes have to just suck it up and do stuff they don't want to."

The poster u/youkickmydog613, who wished to remain anonymous, told Newsweek: "Reddit helped me realize a lot of different perspectives to the situation. Granted, I had already talked with my wife before I read all the comments, but they definitely made me think a little harder towards my side of the situation."

Wyse said: "You may find the menu choice inadequate, the service poor, the food disappointing. But you must do your best to appear to be enjoying what you are served.

"Under no circumstances should you sulk, moan, or become grumpy. Put your gastronomic priorities to one side and fully engage in the occasion—that means being positive and upbeat and focusing your attention on your dining companion," she added.

Update 5/16, 3:47 a.m. ET: This article has been update with comment from the poster u/youkickmydog613.

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