Mom Refusing To Raise Affair Baby After Ex-Husband and His Wife Died Backed

A woman refusing to raise her late ex-husband's affair child is being supported online.

Sharing her story with Reddit's Am I the A******? (AITA) forum, user u/Better-Paint4891 explained that her ex-husband passed away six months ago. The former couple shared three children together but split after she caught him cheating. The affair was revealed when the other woman became pregnant with the child, now 3 years old.

Her ex-husband married his affair partner but the woman passed away in a car crash prior to his death. Now an orphan, their daughter is currently being raised by his elderly mother. However, her health is failing and the child will soon be going into foster care.

According to childwelfare.gov, there are more than 391,000 children and young people in the U.S. foster care system. The National Conference of State Legislatures says that around 80 percent of children in foster care struggle with mental health issues and are almost five times more likely to be diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Better-Paint4891's former mother-in-law recently called, asking her to raise the child. However, the poster has "never had anything to do" with the girl and her teenage children have no relationship with their half-sister.

"She suggested that my children might want to keep her in their family and how could I deny them that chance," she wrote. "I asked my children if they had any thoughts or plans to take her on once any of them were 18. They all said no."

Better-Paint4891 declined to raise the girl, causing her mother-in-law to lash out. She called the poster a "horrible evil woman" and accused her of abandoning "family."

"I told her I am not the child's mother, stepmother, aunt or anything that would imply family," she wrote. "[She said it] was no wonder my children didn't care about their sister when I had that attitude."

Reddit users felt sorry for the girl but backed Better-Paint4891, with the post receiving more than 7,000 upvotes.

Although a noble act, fostering a child is not a decision to be taken lightly—and not something that should be forced upon an unwilling participant.

"When a person feels coerced or pressured to foster another, it puts the person in a difficult situation," James Miller, a psychotherapist and host of self-development and wellbeing radio show LIFEOLOGY, told Newsweek.

Ideally, foster agencies prefer to place a child with a family member. However, a blood relative isn't always the best fit. He said that family members that are unable to care for a child can still be in their life, even if they can't give them a home.

'Not OP's Problem To Solve'

In the poll attached to the post, Redditors voted u/Better-Paint4891 "NTA" or "Not the A******" in the situation.

"Yes, the child is a half sibling to your children, but that does not create an obligation on your part," said EmptyDrawer9766.

"How great of a life would the child even have being raised by the person who was cheated on, and her being a constant reminder of the infidelity?" said MotherOfDoggos4.

"As someone whose mother resents them for existing, I know first hand how traumatizing that is," wrote ischemgeek.

"I can't blame the MIL for frantically trying anything she can to ensure her grandchild is placed with a family she knows is stable, but that's unfortunately not OP's problem to solve," said agent_raconteur.

Savory_thing commented: "That child deserves to be with a family that wants her.

"It would be awful to be placed with someone out of guilt and manipulation instead of being placed with someone who genuinely wants to raise a child."

Newsweek reached out to u/Better-Paint4891 for comment via Reddit. We could not verify the details of the case.

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