Woman Cheered For Why She's Banning Daughter Attending Bio Dad's Wedding

A woman has been supported online after she shared in an explosive social media post that she'd banned her daughter from attending her biological father, the woman's ex-partner's wedding, because he'd raped her.

"I have an amazing daughter and I'm married to the most amazing man in the world," the 27-year-old British woman opened up online, before going on to share that she's been living in Japan with her family for the past nine years.

"My best friend and I have been close since we were children. She has always been my rock through everything, especially when I was pregnant with my daughter. Her biological father, has had no interaction with either of us since I the night I got pregnant, nor ever showed an interest, until now."

"[Her biological father] raped me when I was 15 and he was 21. I absolutely adore my daughter and do not equate her to that horrible experience, she also doesn't know the nature of her conception and my husband adopted her," she added.

During her trip to the U.K, the woman caught up with her best friend who she said had been out of the loop for some time.

She was horrified to discover that her best friend had started a relationship with the man who had raped her 15 years ago, she shared in the post.

The woman recalled the moment she saw him at her friend's house: "It was definitely the last thing I was expecting. I assumed by some twisted and cruel coincidence, that I had gotten the address wrong."

Her friend then announced that the pair are due to be married soon and that they'd like the man's 12-year-old daughter with the Redditor to be in attendance so that he can form a parental relationship with her. The woman was left feeling "hurt" and "betrayed" by the news and has since decided to block her daughter from attending the wedding, which has led to more bad blood between the old friends.

The woman's friend called the Redditor "petty" and "jealous" in retaliation.

What Does the Expert Say?

DeVon Mills is a licensed professional counselor at ParentGuidance.org. He is also the founder and clinical director of Thrive Counseling Atlanta. Mills weighed in on the situation for Newsweek and assessed how the Redditor can move forward from the shocking revelation.

"I acknowledge the hard work and dedication that the parents, especially the mother, have put into raising the child that resulted from the rape. I recognize the challenges they have faced and the strength they have shown in creating a loving and nurturing environment for their daughter," Mills told Newsweek.

"I advise that the parents should approach the situation with the same self-compassion they are showing themselves. Overall, the need for self-care and understanding throughout the process of resolving the trauma is important, as it is ongoing," he added.

Mills suggests that the Redditor braves a conversation with her daughter to help her process why this man, whom she does not know, is suddenly interested in developing a relationship with her.

"This is going to be a tough, and possibly an ongoing conversation. I emphasize the importance of recognizing and validating the emotions of the mother's that may arise, such as feelings of injustice and triggers related to the trauma. This can be a trigger for mom, considering her daughter was almost the same age when she was raped," Hills explained.

"Mom has to keep an open-ended and neutral conversation with her child about the biological father's interest in developing a relationship. The parents should ask for the child's thoughts and feelings on the matter and be empathetic and understanding without leading or influencing their response.

"If the parents were in my office, I would tell them that this feels like a super intense situation because it is. Like, you're not reading it wrong, and there's not this neutral option floating out there that you haven't found yet. It's hard because it's a hard situation," he added.

What Do The Comments Say?

Since it was shared on the social media platform on August 29 by u/lofnwashere, the Reddit post has been upvoted by 95 percent of users and commented on more than 1,500 times. The majority of users engaging with the post have backed the woman for standing firm against her friend.

"I want an update when you tell her your rapist not ex is not legally a father and she will never be a stepmother to her," one user wrote.

Another user added: "I hope that this is a fake post because that is MESSED UP BEYOND BELIEF! She is not your friend!"

The Reddit post can be seen here.

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