Woman's Reaction to Her Husband's Long-Term Girlfriend Shocks Internet

The internet has slammed a woman who confessed to ignoring her husband's infidelity, refusing to confront him because they are "actually quite happy" with their relationship.

In a post shared on Mumsnet last Saturday, the woman, under the username SamillaW, explained that her husband is having an affair with another woman and that she's known for about two years but has decided to live with it for a number of reasons.

She said: "We're actually quite happy. Happier than we were 5 or 6 years ago when we went through a really rough patch. We go away together without the kids twice a year, we have our own lives and hobbies and our home runs very nicely."

A study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, made on men and women involved in a monogamous relationship, shows that about 44 percent of people cheat on their partners.

When it comes to marriage, data shows that about 20 to 40 percent of married American men and 20 to 25 percent of married American women will cheat on their spouse at some point in their lives.

In her post, the woman explained that filing for divorce would be a financial disaster for the family, even though she works in finance and she has got a "plan b" just in case, and that sex-wise, her husband's lover has made her life easier but taking the sexual pressure off her.

She said: "Honestly I feel like a burden has been taken off me. We still have sex but at a level I am happy with, the pressure has gone."

According to psychotherapist, Faith Dulin, this type of situation is actually more common than most people realize, as the traditional marriage of past generations continues to shift and change.

"Legal unions have always had some element of functionality underneath our romanticized ideals of physical attraction and emotional love. Some marry to access health insurance or combine finances, while some stay married 'for the kids,' or to maintain social standing or a particular standard of living. It is completely possible to have a committed, long-term, passionate, monogamous relationship, but it takes work, on the part of both partners who will continually choose each other."

She also told Newsweek that as a psychotherapist it's not her role to judge people but to support them, so she suggests checking in with oneself to determine what truly makes you happy and healthy.

"Part of your self-check might include, is this situation hurting anyone? For instance, is the girlfriend also married to someone else? Would eventual discovery negatively impact innocent parties, such as, is his girlfriend the teacher for one of your children?

"Do you need to get an STD check-up? How will you know if his feelings for her grow, what if he decides to end the marriage? How did your marriage get to this point, is there any healing you need? Are you lonely? Do you desire connection with a romantic partner? Are you considering your own extra-marital affair? Is the current situation acceptable because it's offered temporary relief from recent discomfort? Is it sustainable for you/your family long-term? Will feelings of betrayal and resentment develop as the situation continues?"

Most of the over 500 comments in the thread thought this arrangement is due to blow up. One user, Guiltypleasures001 commented: "The question is op, What if he decides that the other woman is worth the split and financial Agro? What if you get hit with divorce papers out of the blue? Is it worth looking at your ducks quietly to see exactly where you stand, and maybe shore up your defences."

And MrsKeats said: "Would not do this in a million years. And I've been through the mill." Hesleepswiththefishes added: "My heart would be broken into a thousand pieces. couldn't live an unauthentic life...you only have one and it's one way you don't get to reset."

Another user, LuckyLil, pointed out: "So you have unprotected sex with someone you know is having unprotected sex with someone else, but it's not a question of self respect? Oh dear..."

While on the other hand SkirridHill said: "Meh, if it works for you, it works. I'm horribly jealous (my own insecurities!) and I think I would struggle with it. I would constantly compare myself to the Other Woman and find myself wanting, whether that was true or not."

Treezees suggested: "If you are OK with it, why not discuss it with him and live with a more open dialogue? Do you have any interest in seeing someone else romantically as well?"

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.