The One Thing To Tell Kids Questioning Santa Revealed By Child Psychologist

You could argue that the centuries-old Christmas tale of a jolly, white-bearded man donning a festive red suit and loading up a flying, reindeer-pulled sledge to deliver presents to every single child on earth, in just one night, might be a bit of a stretch—even for the most imaginative child.

Indeed, according to a survey, by only age 8 children can stop believing in this charming yarn, meaning parents are often left to deal with the fallout of why they have been 'lied to' all these years—and preventing older siblings from ruining the magic for younger ones as well as themselves.

Luckily, one child development and parenting expert might just have the solution.

Dr. Martha Deiros Collado, a clinical psychologist and author of parenting guide How To Be The Grown Up, recently shared some advice in an Instagram post that went viral, amassing over 100,000 views. She actually advised parents to be more ambivalent when it comes to Santa without ruining the fun.

"If you want to keep the story of Father Christmas alive in your household but want to say something so your child doesn't one day turn around and say to you, 'You lied to me!', here's a story you can give your child," she told her 293,000 followers. "Father Christmas is a legendary figure, some people say he lives in the North Pole, some people say he flies on a sleigh, some people say he comes on Christmas Eve and he gives children—little and old—gifts that they've been wishing for, for a long time."

Collado, who uses the handle @dr.martha.psychologist, added: "To some people this is just a really lovely magical story about Christmas, to other people it feels a lot more real, and others still like to bring the magic of Father Christmas alive by being the ones who give gifts to children and family members with lots of thoughtfulness and meaning. Other people don't even celebrate Christmas so Father Christmas means nothing to them at all."

She ends by telling parents to ask their children: "What story do you prefer?"

Thankfully, the London-based expert told Newsweek there is certainly "no right or wrong way" when it comes to discussing Santa in your house this Christmas.

"Some people prefer to refer to Santa as a magical being who comes to their house while others might choose to share a different story," she said.

"My 5-year-old daughter actually prefers that he is just a story, as she is scared a man might come down our chimney and into our house, which is fair enough, but she still gets excited.

"Pretending is real to children; you have to decide what feels right for you and your family.

"Some parents feel strongly about keeping the magic alive, and that is OK. It's not going to harm your child to believe in Santa."

Collado stressed that every parent will know what works best for their own family and child, depending on different temperaments and personalities, and that you shouldn't worry if you've already sold Santa hard from an early age.

"Unfortunately a super sensitive child may see their parents upholding the idea of Santa as a betrayal once they are older, but we have a relationship with our child and you can always apologize and say that you are sorry that it has been a breach of their trust," she said.

Collado has often seen parents suggest they would be ruining Christmas if they told their children the 'truth'—but unfortunately there is no avoiding the big question forever.

When Do Kids Start To Ask Questions About Santa?

A study published in the journal Contemporary Educational Psychology found that telling the story of Saint Nick can actually increase generosity. Southwest Missouri State University researchers said that first graders were more likely to donate pieces of gum to disabled children after hearing the Santa Claus story as opposed to Kindergarten pupils, who felt no different after the tale.

Collado said that as children start school and begin learning about real-life events between the ages of 5 to 8, they may start to put two and two together—and question Santa's authenticity.

She added that children blur fantasy and reality when they are toddlers and preschoolers but this happens less as they get older.

"We have to give children credit for being smart and recognizing he isn't real," she said.

"They then start to wonder how Santa's sleigh flies through the air and notice that the packaging on their toys is the same. They have a realization that something isn't quite right."

Parents are encouraged to get curious and ask their child what they think happens at Christmas to see if their child still believes or not. But it is important not to try "too hard" to push the narrative onto kids, because they may struggle to admit they know the truth when they are older.

When the time comes and they no longer believe in the fairytale, Collado encourages parents to teach their offspring the true meaning of Christmas.

"At some point, everyone knows that he isn't going to show up but that doesn't mean Christmas can't still be magical," she said.

"As adults, I like to think we are all being Father Christmas by being the givers. It's sweet to involve your children in that as seeing someone else opening a gift can be so magical.

"Santa is about giving without asking for anything in return, kids get presents and parents don't get any thanks—you can involve children by donating gifts to those in need and allowing them to wrap it so they envision what that child is going to feel like when they open it."