Woman Slammed for Insisting She Read Husband's Diary: 'Invasion of Privacy'

A woman has accused her husband of behaving like a "teenager" after he refused to let her read his personal diary.

While she remains adamant he should give her access, when the dilemma was shared to social media, it drew a very different reaction.

Everybody keeps secrets. A 2017 study published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that the average adult keeps around 13 secrets at any one time.

In some cases, keeping these secrets can be a source of stress or other psychological harm. Hiding the existence of an extramarital affair or a secret second family, for instance, is bound to cause considerable strain.

However, in the majority of instances, these secrets relate to less pressing matters, and disclosing them is a point of personal preference. You may have been sworn to secrecy, for example, or may simply be looking to spare someone else's feelings.

Whatever the case, it is entirely normal to have secrets. This is perhaps why so many on social media are responding to the actions of one woman who took to Mumsnet under the handle wonderingoff to vent her frustrations over the fact her husband has started keeping a diary.

The wife said he has "never once mentioned" he was going to begin keeping a journal and has "avoided writing in it" whenever she is around. She discovered it by their bedside table the other day and was just about to read it when he woke up and "got really defensive" telling her to put it back.

"Felt a bit like I was dealing with a teenager to be honest, did put it back and asked him what it is," the wife wrote. "He just said it's a diary and he's just been jotting some things that go around in his head too much."

She told him they could talk "if something is wrong" and, again, asked to read it. The husband continued to say no, though, much to her annoyance. "It all seems quite strange to me," she wrote. "I'm a bit concerned he can't just talk to me about some of these apparent insignificant worries."

The woman remains adamant her husband is being immature in keeping a secret diary. However, Jennifer Simas, a leading intimacy and relationship coach, told Newsweek that the wife was the one being "childish."

"Let the man have some private and separate thoughts and a place to jot them down from time to time," Simas said. "It's incredibly healthy and self-affirming to be able to explore your own thoughts on paper, and since it is your thoughts being examined, no one should demand entry into them—not even your spouse."

Simas felt the woman was falling guilty of the "three Cs" guaranteed to agitate even the most loyal of partners. "She sounds codependent, clingy, and cloying," she said. "I'd recommend she lets this go and thinks about ways she can explore her autonomy and perhaps dabble in some self-examination of her own."

Others on social media were similarly scathing of the woman's approach to the issue. "He's trying something healthy and writing things down," one Mumsnet user wrote. "He won't write those things down if he feels someone will read them."

"I'd be incandescent with fury if anyone read my diary," a second user commented, with a third adding: "Diaries are private, this is a massive invasion of privacy." A fourth, meanwhile, asked: "Do you want to go through his phone too?"

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

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